Thursday, June 02, 2005

Announcement et al.

I have an announcement to make, but let me first get this anecdote out of the way. I was walking to the post office today with a friend, when some person on the street, presumably a homeless person, manages to make eye contact with us (more with me, actually), and holds up a hand gesturing for our attention. The gesture seemed to indicate that he was about to say something like "The Post Office is closed today," "Don't eat the shrimp in the Chinese restaurant," or "Could I have a quarter for the phone?" Instead he says to us:

"I fucked Tony Curtis in the ass."

Um, OK. Congratulations.

And now, moving on to my announcement: I'm going to have a radio show on WFMU this summer, called The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment! It will air on Fridays from 6-7, with the first show airing on June 17. The show itself is a prerecorded mix of me yakking with my guests and musical interludes; and each show has a particular topic. So everyone tune in, cux it'll be, like, a blast 'n stuff! Listen at 91.1FM or wfmu.org. Believe that this won't be the last you hear from me on the subject.

Lastly, I had a great idea for a reality show. Actually, it's sort of a tweak on the idea for that Dancing With the Stars show. Since I heard that that Trista person is on it, I thought it would be great if, for the first show, it's actual dancing and all, and in the end Trista loses. And at the end of the show they wall her up into a mausoleum. And then the whole rest of the season is about her being buried alive. I suppose they could send her peanut butter sandwiches to sustain her for a season, but ONLY if absolutely necessary. Now that's a reality show worth watching! It would be almost Guantanemal. I just made that word up and wanted to use it. NO ONE has ever used that word before. Do you hear me?!?! NO ONE! Actually, the word kinda sounds like Garanimal. Maybe there could be a new line of pajamas called Guantanemals. What would they be? Hmm, orange prison uniforms? Middle-Eastern-looking things? Or just shackles? I dunno what they wear down there. What DO they wear down there? If I was in Cuba, alls I could imagine wearing is a lot of sunblock and something loose and light. Maybe Guantanemals could be, like, glamorized Cuban beach prison clothes. Like what Paris Hilton would wear if she were going to a Cuban beach prison-themed party. (There is a beach near there, isn't there?) I think they could be a hit. In fact, I think that it's the next big thing. Don't copy me, or I'll cut you. With my copyright blade!

And that's the beep for now, ganoozlets.

Beep!
Ed Shepp

4 comments:

maveric said...

Actually, Guantanemal makes you think of Guantanamo as in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, which makes you think of the Bay of Pigs invasion, which makes you think of nuclear bombs, which makes you think of great, huge explosions, which is exactly what reaction you would expect from a show like that. Sorry to be so blunt about what you were actually thinking, but I just thought it best you know.

Love,
Maveric

P.S. that pict of you looks SO cute! I used to have a shirt like that, but it was short sleeve and I got laid so many times out of that shirt (oh my God I don’t believe I just said that).

So exciting about your radio show!

v.p. said...

I assed Tony Curtis in the FCUK. The one on Broadway.

Jase said...

How do you pronouce 'Guantanemal'? I want to work it into my vocabulary.

Anonymous said...

There was a guy on 23rd and 7th ave for years that told, loudly, everyone that passed by "I fucked tony curtis in the ass." he was there from about 1996-1999 or later. every day.

thats all he ever said. over and over and over. apparently fucking mr curtis' ass made him lose his mind.