Friday, January 21, 2005

My Next Haircut Is A Sponge-Bob


More loveable than Rosie O'DToday's blips:

1. Spongebob Squarepants is gay, apparently. I never knew. Or, rather, I never thought about it. It's like finding out something that you never really thought about and then thinking, Well duh.

2. I got chili in my eye today! I put my spoon in the chili and there was a splashback that somehow made it past my glasses right into my eye! Thank cod the chili was so bland--otherwise there could have been damage.

3. I think my new Developmentally Disabled look is working for me. Just today a girl at Starbucks gave me a free piece of chocolate. She said she didn't feel like ringing it up. Sure. She was just being nice cux I look like Dumb & Dumber. I figure if this keeps up I'm going to really work it, like with the voice and all. Maybe I'll get some special shoes or something. It's kinda like that time when I had laryngitis and couldn't speak, but still had to work at Subway--I pointed to things and gestured as if I were a deaf-mute, and everyone was so nice. It's kinda like that, right.

4. I was thinking about depression, as someone I know is going through some shizzl right now, and I've come up with a good treatment for it: Hawaii. No one is depressed in Hawaii. No one. So I think that a trip to Hawaii should be the treatment for depression, and it should be covered by insurance. Hawaii-as-depression-treatment is attractive for many reasons:
  • it's effective
  • as long as you wear sunblock, it's side effect free
  • it's probably cheaper than a 6-month stint on Rx antidepressants
  • no pills to take, you just wake up
  • it can treat transient depressions, ones that you wouldn't want to medicate, like seasonal depression and intense grief.
    Clearly Hawaii is a superior treatment for depression, and probably everything else. I'll be submitting my idea to the Department of Health and Depression, or maybe the Department of Hawaii, or whoever.

    5. Putting a wet towel on the radiator really does humidify a room quite well.

    And those are today's blips.

    Beep!
    Ed Shepp

  • 2 comments:

    Jon said...

    Considering that we're going to get assaulted by snow this weekend, Hawaii sounds nice. I'll even wear a coconut bra and crank the heat up if I have to!

    Lani said...

    I love that idea. I'm depressed. So I think I'll just sell off my furniture and skip out on my landlord. He's lazy. He didn't clean up the front of my building last week when it snowed. I'm a little pissed off about it, even after a week. I could have slipped.

    Bastard....

    So Hawaii sounds good. I can totally blend in, you know, with my name and all. DANG! I'M TOTALLY GOING!