Monday, August 08, 2005

Live Coffee Under Bacon

I did my Movies show LIVE last Friday! It was exhilarating! I only messed up aggrediously once; the rest of the mistakes (mostly involving levels) were relatively minor. It was pretty fun. I just might do it again sometime!

I have two ideas that are spectacular, and I'm going to tell them right now. But all rights are reserved, so don't copy them.

First: I want to open a coffeeshop-type place with the following features: super-ultra bright lighting, all daylight-balanced (which has lots of blue); total white decor; transparent coffee or bleached tea or blueberry smoothies--in fact, I think I like the idea of the place just selling everything blueberry }} the whole idea of the place could, in fact, be based on the healthful properties of blueberries. The dominant feature of the place, however, would be the acoustics: I want them to maximize silence and dampen sound in different microenvironments of the place. Like, I would like to have tables set under domes in the ceiling that create "zones of silence," zones in which you can have conversations with the people at your table that don't intrude on other tables (and you don't hear their conversations). There would also be individual seats within their own Zones of Silence where people could read or whatnot. Of course, you probably couldn't create literal silence within these zones, but the point is to reduce the noise created by other people and the city to the absolute minimum. There would, however, be something playing over the stereo system in the coffeeshop, but not loud or distracting music (I detest very loud music in a coffeeshop). I would play very minimal music, maybe even noise music or water sounds, but I would play it softly and only in the background. I think total silence would be far too jarring--people wouldn't want to stay in a place where all they can hear is their tinnitus. So that's an overview of the place. Let's go back to the light for a second, though: it would definitely have to be as bright as possible; it would be nice if it could be 10K lux at most places in the shop, maybe with extra-light boxes at the individual stations. Selling points of light: 1) it puts you in a better mood and makes you more alert 2) it improves sleep patterns 3) it combats winter depression. And because the coffeeshop has so much light, it could sell things like eye formula caps, which contain lutein and bilberry, and whatever else may provide eye support. And bilberry extract could be put into the blueberry products.

One thing I'm unsure about for the coffeeshop is the scent it should have in the air. Whatever it is it should be light, and the air should obviously be purified before adding it. I don't know if blueberry would work, but whatever the scent is, it should work with blueberry or not compete with it. I wouldn't want the place to smell like coffee, but then I wouldn't really want to serve coffee either---maybe caffeinated vitamin water or tea or something. Or at least transparent coffee that would have very litte coffee flavor. Perhaps a transparent aquatic scent would work. Or maybe something green and leafy. Perhaps with a very light, sheer, barely-there floral note. But that's such a small detail.

Second: I was talking with some peeps about waking up in the morning, about how I want one of those sunrise simulator alarm clocks that slowly dims from darkness to full power, and something occurred to me: why not have a coffeemaker that's timed to go off when you want to wake up that makes bacon-and-eggs-flavored-coffee? That way you get the full-on olfactory experience of breakfast (which would get you out of bed), and you also get the full-on gustatory experience when you're drinking your coffee. Honestly, I think that if it could be made properly, bacon&eggs-flavored coffee would be quite good. I think if you're having it with bacon and eggs, you wouldn't even notice the hint of flavoring. That said, flavored coffee in general almost always ends up tasting so bad (it's so acidic; pumpkin-spice-flavored coffee is the only really good one) that this idea might not work. So I tweaked the idea a little: a coffeemaker that goes off when you want to wake up and makes regular coffee, but has a component that you put a cartridge in which creates a separate scent that you experience in tandem with the coffee's aroma. The cartridge could be either: 1) bacon and eggs 2) belgian waffles 3) toast 4) cantaloupe or 5) a combination of the above. There could be 3 or more slots for cartridges. It could be noted that people needn't use the cartridges only for breakfast alarms, and I'd predict that scents like coffee cake and belgian waffles would be popular for general home fragrancing. (You better not be scoffing there! You don't believe that Belgian waffles make an extremely pleasant home fragrance? Check out Crabtree & Evelyn's Patisserie from their Cooks line, or the Grandma's Cookies plug-in from Airwick, both of which smell like Belgian waffles.) (Incidentally, someone tried to shoot down my idea, saying something like, 'Would you want to go around smelling like Belgian waffles all day?' My answer: Obviously, the smell wouldn't be strong enough or heated for long enough to cling to clothing, but even if it were, people 'go around smelling like' Belgian waffles all the time--look at the sales of vanilla-based perfumes like Cake Batter by SmellThis, Vanille/Vanille-Abricot/Vanille-Coco/Vanille-Banane by Sud Pacifique, the Desserts line by Jessica Simpson and countless other gourmand-type fragrances, within which I would dare to include Mugler's Angel, the hallmark of which is its cocoa-vanilla accord. I will also note the reaction many people have when they walk into a yogurt store that reeks of vanilla and cocoa-butter: "I'd LOVE to smell like this every day!" So there!)

There--now aren't those fabulous ideas for products? I'll answer for you: Hellz-to-the-yeah! And that's my beep for now.

Ed Shepp

No comments: