Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Grocery Postery

My uglydoll, TargetHappy Spring! Oh, wait, it's still winter. Dammit. It feels like a season should have changed, as long as it's been since my last post. To say nothing of the crazy weather here--for a while there New York couldn't decide whether it was February or April.

I have a lot to talk about today--a huge number of fascinating subjects to yak on and on about---on some piece of paper that I can't find. Why do I even make these "enbloggerize" lists if I can never find them when I actually do click out a quick blog post?!?! Alas, such is beans. So I guess I'll be writing this post from the only list I could find: a grocery list.

Q-Tips: I don't usually use these for my ears--I prefer my fingers for that. Usually I use them to apply moisturizing gel to the inside of my nose when I have a cold or a particularly dry booger situation going on there. But one thing I do put in my ears is the joyful noise of WFMU, and speaking of WFMU, this week begins the fundraising marathon. Won't you pledge to support the fine freeform radio that I and my comrades at the station work so hard to get to you? Won't you? I'll call you a b9itch, in that sassy waitress way, if you will. I won't call you anything if you won't, either because a) you're dead to me or b) you're too poor, and I remember being too poor. If you are too poor to pledge, why not come down and volunteer? You can see me and watch me pick my ears. Anyway, call in a pledge during my show so I don't have to spend all weekend smearing myself in faux feces and plucking out every hair on my body compulsively. (Oh, who am I kidding?! We all know I'm gonna do that anyway!) (Not really. Did you really think I was going to do that?! Do you think that made the list above all the zillion social commitments I fend off daily? Do you? Do you really?) (Well, if you did, then you're wrong, but you're more original than I gave you credit for. Bully for you!)

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Conditioner: There's nothing like Finesse conditioner; it's like a Spring day in a bottle. Sure, the scent is really girly, but show me someone who can resist it. And show me someone who can resist an uglydoll, especially Target, which I just got as a birthday present with the gift certificate from my mom. I've wanted an uglydoll for forever, and now I have one, coddammit. I keep him at work, because I realized that I spend more time at work than I do at home during the week, when you factor in the station and coffeeshops, etc. Besides, it's nice to have your uglydoll cheering you up at work. Also, I'm on this "rich environment" kick now--it has to do with neurogenesis and all that gwazzle; you can read the article that inspired it here--and the uglydoll, along with the cool lamp from Pearl River Mart, is part of that. (Yeah, I read sciece magaxines, b9iotches!)

Fiber: It does your body good.

You know what? I thought I had more, but I don't. Alas. Beans.

Ed Shepp

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