And I actually felt the need to cover the illustration with my hand (subtly) while I read the pages, so that the woman didn't look over and feel embarrassed. (I saw her glance at the title of the book when I took it out. Reciprocally, I glanced at what she was reading: five [!] tabloids, dealing mostly with Jessica Simpson's marriage. No, I'm not kidding.) Yes, Virginia, she was obese. How kind am I to not remind her? HOW KIND!!!!!!
And speaking of class, and of Florida, look what the book I'm reading has to say on the subject, when discussing how where you come from determines your class:
Both Florida (except perhaps for Palm Beach) and Southern California (except perhaps for Pasadena) have been considered socially disastrous for decades. As if the facts were well known, the vilest nightclubs abroad, especially in gotten-up new places like West Germany, are likely to be named Florida. One reason no civilized person could think of living near Tampa is that during the 1970s this sign was visible there, advertising nearby Apollo Beach: "Guy Lombardo Wants You as a Neighbor."
Interesting. And I suppose, knowing nothing really about the upper and upper-upper classes, I'll have to take the author's word for it. Just like Pocahontas did in Colors of the Wind: "You think I'm an ignorant savage, and you've been so many places... I guess you're right."
But back to Christmas in Florida. First of all, the sun! The sun sun sun!!! Today my mom and I exited a mall and the sky was so bright (and so much of it visible due to Florida's almost uniform flatness) that alls I wanted to do at that moment was put a lawn chair in the middle of the mall parking lot and sit. How Floridian of me! Second of all, the temperature temperature tamporature!! It's in the 60s, and I think it's supposed to be in the 70s over the weekend. Third of all, the suburbs suburbs suburbs!!!! Mom and I went to Publix today to get some things (I confess: I could really spend the entire holiday going from Publix to Publix--I love driving and grocery stores and sun that much), and when we exited the Salvation Army lady, who was NOT ringing a bell, offered us a quiet, "Merry Christmas." WHAT A CHANGE from the loud LOUD LOUD (I'm loving this repetition thing today) "PENNY FOR THE HOMELESS! ONE PENNY! SIR! ONE PENNY IS ALL THEY NEED! CAN'T YOU SPARE A PENNY!!!" I thought, "Wow. I could get used to this."
One thing I could not get used to, however, is this dial-up internet. Who knew it was so slow? Who, I ask you, WHO???!?! Additionally, I've gotten sick, for the most part, of Christmas music. I feel like I've eaten too much cake or something. But you can't throw up music. Can you? If you could, I'd have a whole new CD!
Briefly, I came to the realization that in Florida, as in much of the country, Christmas light displays are all about quantity. Not art, but quantity. Kind of like the light displays in Indian restaurants on 6th st.
So Christmas is coming up soon--tomorrow I'm supposed to be hanging out with an old friend, so that should be cool. Then the big day. I have a few good gifts under the tree, but I think the best gift was something that I couldn't get from a store, something totally unexpected: My parents got a scanner, so I've been scanning in old pix of myself and the like for the past recentism. Like the one at the beginning of the entry, which is me and my sister at Christmas in 1974. What could I be thinking?! And these:
My certificate for excellent citizenship
My 8th grade yearbook picture. Was I hotter-than-hot or WINGAPO?!?!?!
And I STILL can't keep my hair cut at regular intervals!
But, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't post these bits:
My certificate for completing the Four Star Shooting Camp
A pic from my second birthday
(I remember being blonder. This pic must be underexposed.)
So anyway, that's the beep for now. I have to say again that I'm so glad the transit steerike is over. So glad. Now it just needs to warm up about 30 degrees and the day needs to get 3 hours longer. Then we're in business, Manhattan! So for now, this is Ed Shepp signing off. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!