Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Happy Beeping Holidays!

Sheesh! You try to write down notes for things to enbloggerize so you can write timely entries... ...and then you STILL take a month to put up a blog entry!!! Gaklers! Oh my cods...

Well we're in the middle of my 4 weeks of holiday (Christmas) shows--yay!!! Those were fun to make. Go here to see them. Oh, and The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment has become podcastable, so go here to get the podcast. And my holiday cards (CDs) are out too--yay! If you didn't get one, and you really, really want one, and you don't mind receiving it after Christmas, because you celebrate Chanukah or Kwanzaa or something (cux if I mail it now, it'll NEVER get anywhere before Christmas), email me, I guess. It's really just stuff from my shows and other music. Beep.

And I finally found an 18'' pink Christmas tree for my desk, after those kids at 3 different Urban Outfitters told me that what I was asking for didn't exist (in spite of the fact that it was listed on the sign). So yay. I only wish it could be pink fur and decorated with nude Barbies. Either that, or a real pine tree, burned up one half. Would that be a "slap in the face to bourgeois values"?

I went to a dinner party over the weekend. I was going to bring champagne (pink Andre, of course), but the liquor store I went to didn't have any that was cold, so I ended up bringing a pointsettia. I was the second person to bring a 'plant.' When I was getting food in the kitchen, I noticed a huge bouquet of white flowers all wrapped in cellophane, gift-ready. A closer look revealed they were fake. But it took a moment after I realized they were fake to put it together in my mind that someone had actually brought a bouquet of fake flowers as a gift!!!!! Frankly, I can't believe it hadn't occurred to me before. But I had to start trouble: I mentioned the beautiful flowers, and it was clear to me that the person who had given them was standing right next to me. "Are they freesia?" I asked. "Yes, they are." "Oh. ...Are they fragrant?" "Hmmmm, I don't know." (Freesia, when it grows from the earth, is fragrant.) It was funny. Beep.

A last anecdote that I forgot to mention: a friend of someone in another city apparently hired a hewer recently. (No, I am not talking about myself. With the money something like that would take, I could have, like, 5 bottles of cologne, right? An hour of whatever versus months of scents? The choice is clear.) Apparently when the hewer arrived at my friend's house he said, "You know, I don't really feel like having sex today," to which the, er, procurer replied, "Well, I don't feel like paying $200 today." Ha!! I thought it was funny. OK, that whole story was fake.*

And that's the beep for now, gnooplets! Happy holidays all!

Ed Shepp

*Actually, it wasn't fake.


Catstercat said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Catstercat said...

I love the hewr "story"!