Monday, October 30, 2006

Weekend Recaplet

Hey snuvvlepoogers. How was your weekend? Did you dress up like that 29th century Marie Antoinette Fantastiwhore from the inner city who is addicted to The Golden Girls and oozes a mystery peanut butter-and-pumpkin suspension from every laser-bullet hole?? You did?! Yaaaaaay!!! You must've been the best dressed Hallooweenster in the hizzy! I can tell you had fun, because of the way you're rocking back and forth and picking your face.

What did I do? Not a lot. What about Hallooween? Eh. Don't care this year. My Halloween Spooktacular aired. That's good enough fer me. Here's the breakdown of what I did do:

Friday I went to the station and got to see some nut overturn a big traffic divider while talking to some individual that I couldn't see. He yelled, "F*%$ your traffic cone and your... white thing!!!!" That and some other choice expletives, and he toppled the "white thing" {traffic divider} and went into the "restaurant" near the station. This restaurant--I've never seen it open. I'm convinced it's a drug running operation. Or a baby factory. Or a rogue paper mill. You never know up here in the Big City. After that I went home and meditated about all the hungry people in the world. And I ate a Reeses peanut butter cup in their honor. Do they know it's Halloween at all????

Saturday I got up early and did lots of forgettable nonsense before going to the station again. After I returned homenward, Jacob and I went to see Death of a President at the Angelika. Here are some short blorgps about the flim:
  • It strikes an unexpected somber, mournful tone. (Should that be unexpectedly? I'm a little retarded.) It was a tone that I expected, since I'd read a review of the movie beforehand. Although I was in the mood for something light and fun, I rallied for DoaP just so I could say that I saw it. Because it's probably banned everywhere except for New York, LA and San Francisco. Which I find kind of silly after watching it. A reviewer in Slate noted that it ends up center-right, politically, and that's true. It portrays the Left as wingnuts and gives a lot of screentime to the Right. Moreover, the aftermath of, er, The Event--it isn't really explored, except to mention something about the passage of a PATRIOT III Act. I thought it was going to plunge into full-on dystopia, but it didn't. Alas.
  • I didn't believe some of the accents. They were supposed to be "midwestern," I suppose, since the movie is set in Chicago; but some just didn't ring true for me. Nor for Jacob, who is from the Midwest. I kept wondering where the movie was flimed. It didn't help when someone said "lit-tra-lee" intead of "li-der-uh-lee." I said, "That's RP! J'accuse!" [Snort while doing that pig-nose expression where you pull up your nose. That's a lot of nose!]
  • Oh! I just remembered--the trailer for Perfume played during the previews. Yay for perfume! It opens Dec. 27th.
  • While mostly somber, the movie definitely had some comedic moments, not all of which were intended. The first was when reporters were at the hospital after ...The Event... and they ask some homeless person what happened in the ER. He says, "First they told us to get out. Then, they told us to get the HELL out." That was funny. Another funny moment: They used some footage of Dick Cheney speaking at a funeral. Whose I don't know, because Sandra Bullock wasn't there and I don't follow events she doesn't attend. Because we're such good friends. Anyway, Cheney says the name and a voiceover says, "George W. Bush." It's so bad--it's really funny. I think the whole theater laughed. The last really comedic moment: Someone in the movie is named Alouicious! No, wait, I mean Aloisius. No----Aloysius. Yeah, I had to look it up. Don't you think that's funny?? Don't you??!? Aloycious!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!! I thought it was funny. I mean, how often do you hear that name?! I think I actually said, "Whahappah" when I heard it. Either that or I passed gas, and there was no shortage of that, since I've gotten back into the fiber supplement community! Yay! Fiber!! [toot]
  • I know you're wondering. So I'll tell you. Yes, there were a couple people who clapped at... The Event. But out of a theater of about 50, only one person clapped loudly, and two others very quietly. Which is pretty surprising considering it was the Angelika, that hotbed of conforming rebellion.
  • All in all, I thought it was an OK movie. Until I read the Slate review, which pointed out that it was just like an episode of Frontline, which is what I thought it was supposed to be. But Slate said that it should have said something, and, now that I think about it--yeah! It should have! Sometimes Slate is just right on. (Sometimes, however, it's seriously full of it. But those times make for such good radio, don't they?)
And then Sunday it was so windy that I was afeared to go to the station, lest a vengeful piece of debris strike me down, so I planted myself on the couch and xoned out to the House marathon on USA. Yay!!!!! I think that's what really made it feel like a holiday weekend to me; I associate TV marathons with holiday weekends every since I watched the Comedy Central AbFab marathon one Txgiving. How impresborgn: AbFab: witty British lushes cavorting around London; House: a mean-in-a-witty-way American-except-really-British Vicodin-popper cavorting around New Jersey. Somehow I never foresaw the 21st century like that.

Speaking of House, if you like the show, check out the interview with one of the writers on Television Without Pity. You can find it yourself; you're a big gnooplet.

And that was my weekend. As a last note, some searches about that Pantene commercial with Let It Xnow in it landed a couple people on this blog. Wow, I remember that commercial--I hope it gets put in rotation again this year! It's so creeeeeepy, with that autotune-or-vocoder-or-something on the vocal; it really sounds like some kind of eerie Christmas robot coming to kill you with its bulletproof holiday cheer. Good stuff! And that's the beep for now gnooplets.

Ed Shepp

Friday, October 20, 2006


But like I said, I'm not sure if this going to law school is the best thing for you now. I mean, what about the pig farm you've been talking about for so long? Is that kaput? You have one piece of bacon and then you're like, "I want to live the good life and eat bacon at nice restaurants and go to conferences where the liquor and hos flow freely." I'm just not sold that you've really thought it out. It's like the time when you wanted to move to New Hampshire because you thought that there you'd be considered a "vocalist." Remember how that turned out? So what do you think?

That's how I start my emails these days. That and "What happened?" I like to pretend that I'm finishing up a conversation with someone else and just perchancé emailed the wrong person. I know, you're all like, "What happened to Hello, How are you?" Yeah, what happened to that? I think it went the way of "Let's hang out." That is, right down the poop pipes. Interestingly, no one has ever responded to an email like that by actually asking what I was talking about. But "what happened" seems to always generate a response. People usually start off with, "OMG, I thought I told you! Theirs so much going on in my life right now but I guess your refering to the beauty pageant I entered Anhedónia in---Yea I know shes a kintergarden but its never to soon to start learn to makeup!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm kidding. You didn't really think I'd email anyone who used the word "pageant," did you?

Anyway, here's the news: Lynndie England is featured in Marie Claire (no joke; they even refer to her as "the waiflike girl with the devilish grin"; I alerted them that the writer is on the pipe), George Michael and Elton John are competing for the honor/horror of Most Desperately Clinging to Fame, and...... The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment returns to the airwaves!!!!!! [huge, deafening applause]

That's right, poogatches! I redubuted October 12, with an episode about, what else, Hair. (Oddly, I neglected to include a Scenes from a Life about the time I got my hair dyed plum in college, which turned out half-plum/half-black, then after Sun-in+Miami went orange; eventually becoming a fried mop of brown rainbow atop my head, which my parents FORCED me to cut and dye back to brown. Damn the middle classes!!!!) And then last week was my Ed's Health Magazine Presents Your Best Halloween Ever, which was hopefully an obvious parody of Men's Health's Your Best Life Ever. And next week: My Halloween Spooktacular! Yay!!!

Yea I know I guess I should have posted something sooner. But in between drinking alone and street preaching and my Campaign Against Butt-Length Hair (CABLuHa), I just haven't had a free moment. But nowst I do, and here you are. So the show's back, now on Thursdays, 6-7pm on WFMU 91.1 and; and I have a new theme! You can download it here for the big file, and here for the littler file. And here for the vocals-only file, in case you want to remixalate it. (Oh, and here for the Blips, which are also for remixalation.) Interestingly, during the first show, someone called up and said that the song made him feel like he was covered in Prell (although he may have said Pert Plus) and had calamari poured down his pants. I'm not quite sure how to take that, or even if I quoted it correctly, or if the calamari were fried or, eh, not fried. Anyway, download the theme and lemme know, beeplers. And don't forget to tune in! Even you, Psychosurgery!

What else? Well, we all know I'm obsessed with Sweden, since I'm convinced that everyone there is a beautiful, supereducated, well-mannered liberal atheist; and that their sewer system is F*&%&$IN HELLACIOUSLY CAPITAL, smelling of peach leaves, bitter almond and efficiency. So naturally, of course, I took it personally when they voted in a center-right government in The Big Election they just had. It was quite a shock; like failing 4th grade all over again, except that now the teacher spoke Swedish instead of Spanish. For a while I just didn't get out of bed, but I'm better now. I can hold down solid foods and move my bowels without laxatives and Zelnorm. I think it's going to be all right, and that's not the Ex-Lax talking this time.

Speaking of Sweden, I've decided that my new favorite movie is Wild Strawberries, followed closely by Scary Movie III. Oh, that movie (the former). So good, it is. I've seen it about 4 times, I think, and I can tell you that about halfway through the 2nd time you lose that sense that every character is the Swedish Chef. Bork bork bork bork! Seriously, it's so good I think y'all have to call me Evald from now on; cux watching that movie, I was like, I AM Evald, except I'm almost completely different! Of course it is a downer of a movie, so if you're looking for fun watch Scary Movie III. Or Drawn Together, which has me LOLing like crazy, almost as if I'm watching a cartoon version of Frasier.

And that's all I've got for you now, gwiplettes, as I have to be off to get my Friday butt wax at Tiffany's.

Ed Shepp